Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
