I'm jealous of your bromance
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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