can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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