I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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