all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
