It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
