No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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