We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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