i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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