matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
