guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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