So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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