we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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