If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
