Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.

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  (815): This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing. http://tfl.nu/2ksa
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  (510): View more from California

  I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.

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  (510): I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress. http://tfl.nu/szsa
  Replies (75) Good night (2082) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.

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  (812): i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys. http://tfl.nu/wntn
  Replies (73) Good night (7367) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?

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  (561): How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible? http://tfl.nu/fu3i
  Replies (101) Good night (783) Bad night (4399) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures

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  (304): Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures http://tfl.nu/pect
  Replies (39) Good night (14401) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.

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  (412): This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun. http://tfl.nu/9a4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1278) Bad night (3526) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.

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  (205): I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab. http://tfl.nu/cf76
  Replies (30) Good night (7677) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.

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  (480): Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan. http://tfl.nu/ryui
  Replies (5) Good night (3104) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.

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  (519): My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/uf58
  Replies (15) Good night (681) Bad night (3669) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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  (509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim
  Replies (7) Good night (2241) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.

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  (530): I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out. http://tfl.nu/bpyp
  Replies (14) Good night (562) Bad night (1621)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Coming to you live from the floor of my office..

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  (919): Coming to you live from the floor of my office.. http://tfl.nu/0ate
  Replies (2) Good night (1195) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.

  (916): View more from California

  That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.

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  (530): My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo. (916): That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone. http://tfl.nu/d9c7
  Replies (1) Good night (1905) Bad night (388)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"

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  (+44): He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis" http://tfl.nu/c89r
  Replies (4) Good night (291) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.

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  (757): According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home. http://tfl.nu/o9bo
  Replies (4) Good night (686) Bad night (227)

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