woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.