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This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
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