Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This house was built for laser tag.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door