i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I lost the right to judge tonight
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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