I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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