So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
