Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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