You work out of a Hotel?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
