That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
zippers are such a cool invention
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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