Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
