TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
