You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just googled if crying burns calories
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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