thus making me awesome and them whores
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
