So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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