the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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