they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
