they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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