I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
