Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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