school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
