I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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