Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
