new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
