Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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