I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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