I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
