So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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