: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
