problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
