Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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