I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
