Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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