The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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