I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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