Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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