This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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