If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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