i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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