I'm really into asian looking animals
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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