Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
