They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
