I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
