Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize